Your voice matters

I kid you not. In high school, I used to sit in the back of the classroom and not say a word. Here’s how bad it was--My teacher took attendance one day in April, and one of my classmates shouted, “Who is that?!” Mind you, I had been in that same classroom since August. It was a huge wake up call because it wasn’t that I wanted to be invisible. In my head, I just couldn’t help myself. It was just who I was. Or so I thought. I was just THAT shy and accepted it.

Here’s something I read that shook me to my core--”"Shy is fear's first cousin. Shy happens when people are afraid to put themselves out there or worry about the results. Shy says "expressing myself is dangerous."--Erica Campbell (From her amazing book, More than Pretty. Looking back, I am realizing that my shyness was a protection. I cared so much about how people perceived me that I figured if I didn’t say anything, there would be no chance to be perceived wrong. Boy was I wrong! Since I rarely said a word, some thought I was stuck up. It was very eye opening because that was the very thing that I was trying to avoid. But this blog is not to discredit who I was then. I labeled myself as “shy” and it was almost as if I acted accordingly. Today, I am learning how there is MOST definitely a difference between being shy and introverted.

I want to show some love to the introverts because I feel they do not get enough love in this extroverted world. To my reserved sista, recognize that it is TOTALLY OK to be an introvert, because I still consider myself an introvert with extrovert qualities. God made us more reserved on purpose just as he gave extroverts the gift of gab. One is not better than the other. Growing up, I felt the pressure to be more outgoing and I still do but we have to love the personality God gave us. I know...easier said than done. Listen, there were some great people in the Bible who were more reserved. Think of Moses and the scene at the burning bush. I recommend reading his whole story (Book of Exodus). He was so afraid of his stuttering problem that it almost stopped him from walking in his calling. He was terrified of public speaking and worried about his effectiveness because of it. God, in his compassion, heard Moses’ insecurities and let his brother, Aaron be his “mouthpiece” to the people.

Don’t count yourself out if you are more “laid-back” or reserved. And sis, do not feel pressure to be something you are not. You are perfect JUST the way you are. Don’t start saying things just to feel heard, rest in that quiet confidence that you have. You are and will continue to be effective being “you.” I truly feel that someone needed to hear that. I have to remind myself of this truth. Just know that when you open up your mouth, God can use you mightily. When you actually speak, people will listen that much more closely.

I do not want to leave my extroverted sistas out. God gave you that bubbly personality to reach the masses. Your gift of gab can cause you to easily relate to people. There is no pressure for you to dim your light because someone else may feel a bit uncomfortable. Keep shining. There are some bold people that God used in the bible. The first person that comes to my mind is Paul. When he gave his life to Christ, he was so bold, unapologetic, and unashamed. His ministry touched countless lives. Christianity was not the same because of how God used him. Truthfully, God continues to use Him through the New Testament. (I recommend reading all of it, but especially Romans!)

I wanted to show love to both sides of the spectrum because it is important that you understand that your voice matters. I wish I knew this sooner. My real issue was not my “shyness” but the reason behind it. I held back, not out of staying true to my personality but out of fear of what others may say or think. Looking back, I realized that I was just drowning in the opinions and approval of others a.k.a. people bondage.

People bondage is letting other people dictate your decisions. Whether intentional or not--when we let others control our actions, we are letting them take the place of God. I say no more, sis. Think of it this way. People talked about Jesus who was perfect so what makes us think we can escape it? It sounds real basic but that statement alone has played a huge part in my road towards being free from people. People will talk regardless so you might as well be who you are supposed to be and do what you feel led to do. This doesn’t mean disregarding people’s feelings. It means that we will not let what they say be the determining factor of our decisions. Sis, what God says is way more important because at the end of the day, you will answer to Him and not to them.