To the Sista Who Feels Like God is Punishing Her for Her Past Mistakes

To the sista who is feeling the weight of her mistakes, I want you to KNOW that God is not punishing you. Repeat after me, “God is NOT punishing me.”

Sis, I want to start this post off by speaking life into you. Any condemnation you feel is not from God. Condemnation means, "A technique used for people to feel permanently tied to their past mistake which prevents them from enjoying their present and from moving towards their future joyously." God convicts us or urges us to be better versions of ourselves but he will NEVER ever condemn us. (Romans 8:1-2 says so!) If you get nothing else from this post, you should know that God operates from a place of love. Anything he does has a love motive. I want you to hear me on that because it has taken me years to realize this. Even when I don’t understand His hand, I have to trust his heart. So since God is love, our relationship with God is rooted in love. Love keeps no record of our wrongs. If you have asked God for forgiveness, then you are operating on a clean slate. Sure, you may feel the remnants and see the scars from what happened but God doesn’t see that. It can be hard to believe but know that you are not your mistake. Don’t let nobody else tell you any different.

However, even after saying all of this, it would be insensitive of me to say just let it go and leave it there. Our past can hold many painful memories. If I can be honest, letting go of past mistakes or holding onto things I could have done differently is still something that I am working through. The word, “punishment” means payback. This is contrary to the gospel. God has no need to punish us because our punishment was put onto Christ. This is something we all have to believe at some point if we are going to have a relationship with God. If you look at the people God used in the Bible, they were all imperfect and they all had a past. Yet, they accomplished some amazing things that we STILL talk about today.

I think the biggest thing we have to differentiate is punishment and consequence. I have come to realize that what I may see as punishment from God is sometimes a consequence of my past actions. Sis, some of our past mistakes do have consequences and unfortunately, that is something we cannot avoid. But the beautiful thing is, God can even work our consequences for good. All hope is not lost!

But if we live life long enough, we also know that not everything bad is a consequence of what we have done. Sometimes, we see things as a punishment from God when in reality it is the result of the kind of world we live in. Often, our pain comes from the mere fact that we live in a world that is not what God intended.You may be thinking, why do I have to go through something just because this world is so messed up? Honestly, this is a question only God himself can answer. Sis, I know it is difficult to not always know why certain things happen to you. I feel you on that. BUT there is a silver lining in the suffering. What I can tell you is that God has a way of using any and EVERYTHING that happens to us. Everything that happens to us is not good but there can be some good from everything.

I can say all of this to encourage you but ultimately sis, if you feel like God is punishing you--it is a question of how you view Him. I challenge you to get to know Him. Just like it takes time to get to know another human, it takes some time to know and understand God’s character. When you do, the question will shift from “Why is God punishing me?” to “Yes this hurts, but I know God is not to blame. How is He going to use this?” I say this all the time and I want you to hold onto it--”If it isn’t good yet, then God is not done yet.” Sis, if you still feel punished and things look bad, God isn’t done with your situation. I pray that this helps you in your lowest moments.

I would start by reading 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. And one day, I pray that you can replace the word “love” with “God” and truly believe it.

Here are some tips for fighting the guilt of a past mistake:

1. Be real with God. Tell him about the mistake and how you are feeling. The first step towards healing is acknowledging that you are hurt. Let him know how you dropped the ball. This is what confessing your sins looks like. 2

2. Receive God's forgiveness and don't forget to forgive yourself. You may not feel like it but forgiveness is not a feeling. Accept it in that moment and if you have to, ask God to help you with it.

3. Apologize to those you may have hurt (One of the hardest steps!)

4. Leave your mistake in the past so that you can move forward and have a guilt-free future.