To The Sista Tired of Waiting On God,

I can’t lie, waiting can be rough. Waiting takes time and time is something I don’t like to waste. But I want to let you in on something, HOW we wait is EVERYTHING. My promise of going to med school was told to me in only a way God can, almost SEVEN years ago. Yes, 7 years ago and I’m not in med school YET so I know a thing or two about waiting on God...Or so I thought.

In July 2018, I got that official letter of rejection from a med school that I really wanted to go to. In fact, that school is still my number one choice. But y’all it was as if God was preparing me for the “no” in advance. God is faithful like that where he usually gives a heads up. He told me it wasn’t time yet and from that moment on, I have chosen to wait in peace. But even with that, my wait has been MESSY. Messy in the sense of exchanging the pretty picture of peace  I expected for the rocky twists and turns I have been experiencing. However, I want to share different tips that I am learning along this journey of waiting.

What Waiting Has Looked like for me:

Before Trusting God (In my Feelings)

Fits of frustration and tears. Y’all if all of my tears could be stored in a jar, it would be overflowing. I have yelled at God like, “WHEN is it going to happen? I am tired of waiting.”Serious thoughts of quitting on my dream and giving up on the promise God gave me. My thoughts have been, “I already have my nursing license, I’ll just stick with that because medical school is 8-10 years and ain't nobody got time for that.”Angry with God. I was like, “You gave me this promise. If it wasn’t going to happen, why did you give it to me?”Fake-trusting in God. I would tell myself that things are going to work it out but it just sounded like what a good "Christian" should say. I quoted scriptures like Ephesians 3:20 where God is going to go above and beyond but I did not believe them. I would listen to sermons and know they were meant for me but I was just writing notes and not taking anything to heart. Jealousy towards others getting blessed and making moves. I was like, “Where is mine at? When will it be MY turn?”

After Trusting God (Learning to Walk by Faith):

I understand that my timing is not God timing. Y’all, I recently heard this quote that resonated with me. It says, “Sometimes God is not just preparing you for the blessing but he could also be preparing the blessing for you.” Wow. For me, I know for a fact that my delay has been due to both.  If God is taking his time, I know he is working on something mind-blowing. (Ephesians 3:20). I've been thanking God in advance. Even though I have not seen the result or reality of my situation---I KNOW God has given me a promise. He doesn't lie. Lying is just NOT in his character. My dream and your dream has to come true just like Philippians 1:6 says.I fill myself up with podcasts, messages, and music that encourage me. I take the words to heart because I look at them as if God is speaking directly to me. The encouragement fuels me to keep going. God always points me to things that I call a little wink or nudge from Him because I stay feeling like someone or something is a "sign."I remind myself of what God said.

When doubt, discontentment, or anything negative pops up in my mind. (Yes, I still can get discouraged.) I have to say out loud, “NO, I choose to not believe that. This is what I believe...." You have to speak to those negative thoughts. If God said it, it has to happen.  Y’all I am not about to allow my own negativity to cancel my prayers. I have made a choice to either trust God or not. Jealousy is a real temptation STILL but I am in a MUCH better place because I know my attitude determines my altitude. So basically, how we act towards others can determine how far we go. I love this quote I heard, “I choose to not get jealous anymore of someone else’s blessing because that means God is in the neighborhood.” Sis, He is coming up your street so don’t worry if God is a block away. Congratulate the person and get excited because he’s on the way to your address.

Honestly sis, I thought choosing to trust and wait on God meant that everything would become easy and rosy. NO. As much as I wish that waiting for me would be this straight line where I always trust God but there have been peaks and valleys. My circumstances have NOT dramatically changed YET but the difference now is MY PERSPECTIVE. Sis, your perspective is everything. Remember, I told you earlier that how you wait matters because it really does. How you wait shows you where your faith is at. And faith is how God connects to us. The beautiful thing is just like we can learn a new language, we can learn faith. How? You can do what MUST do regularly—read what God says about your situation in his word. You have to not just know but really believe that God cannot lie and that he keeps his promises. Currently, I am loving bible app devotionals and Youtube messages.

Don’t feel bad about starting from square one even if you have been “saved’  or have known God a long time. I have known Of God my whole life but I honestly didn't care to know him until college. There is a difference between knowing someone and knowing ABOUT someone. The quickest way to move from not trusting God to trusting Him is knowing him and his character. Trusting God is really an all or nothing thing so if you're at 50%, 75%, it is NOT enough. Keep learning about God and he will SHOW you who he is TO YOU and in YOUR life. We can never trust someone we don’t know so we have to get to know him for ourselves. Here is something that has stuck with me, "God doesn't have grandchildren, he ONLY has children. We can't inherit faith."  When you spend your waiting time getting to know Him, the time will pass and before long you will be waiting with more ease. Keep that heart of expectancy!!

Resources that are Helping Me Wait:

Scripture for While you wait---Philippians 1:6

Song for While You Wait-- Be Still by Travis Greene

Podcast for While You Wait:  Show Up For your Life (Episode on Chrystal’s Chronicles)

Message for While You Wait: Pastor Mike Todd, Release Series (Specifically Parts 2 &3)

Book for While You Wait: Detours by Tony Evans