To My Sista Feeling Shame

I just want to let you know that I DO NOT have it all together. See, shame prevents us from saying this. Shame makes us feel like we HAVE to have it all together. But if this were the case, we would Not need God. Coming to this realization, takes the pressure off. There are things that I regret in my life. Life is a series of choices and if I can be real, I have made some wrong choices in my life. It has taken some time to be real and admit this to myself but it has been freeing. AND IT IS A DAILY THING I have to tell myself. Sis, I want you to get to this place. I want more windows than doors in your life. A window represents what what we show people. A door represents what we try to hide. Shame is what causes us to close doors. It is something that will often try to settle into our lives but we have to make a daily decision to kick it out of our lives. Today is the day that I want you to be free from your past mistakes, failures, and anything blocking you from your amazing future.

First, I want to talk about the ugly truth of shame. Now, shame and feeling convicted are often confused but they are different. Feeling convicted when we fall short is a gift from God that leads us to restoration whereas shame is meant to destroy us from the inside out. Conviction says, “I am sorry for what i did, will you forgive me?” Shame says, “This is who I am. I will never get it right.” Shame makes us want to hide behind a facade and quietly beat ourselves up behind closed doors. Shame can be a root of anger, depression, eating disorders, suicide, etc. But my sister, there is nothing, I REPEAT NOTHING that you have done that is worthy of you feeling shame. Yes, it happened but today is a new day. I want you to know that God is attracted to our shame. He is attracted to our brokenness. We think we have to run away from God because of it but guess what, he is RUNNING TOWARDS you because of it.

 I want to tell you about a woman who knew shame personally. Rahab was a woman in the bible whose occupation was a prostitute. Being a prostitute came with a level of shame, especially where she lived. Rahab lived in this small town called Jericho which was surrounded by this giant wall. See, because of her occupation, Rahab went to bed with shame for decades but EVERYDAY the grace of God was available to her. On one particular day, grace showed up in the form of two spies. These two spies came to Jericho from Israel to scope it out for an impending battle. However, the spies became trapped and could not get out of Jericho. They found Rahab’s place because of a scarlet rope hanging outside of her window (pictured above) which was a sign that a prostitute was “open for business.” Rahab also happened to live inside the city wall where her window looked outside of the city but her door was facing inside of the city. So basically, she had the perfect location for the spies to hide and escape. See, God knew what was coming and despite the shame Rahab felt, he still saw her and STILL wanted to use her. Sis, your past does NOT MAKE YOU DISPOSABLE. God used the spies to save Rahab and her whole family. Because Rahab protected the spies, God protected her AND her entire family from the future battle that would come. If God did it for Rahab, he can do it FOR YOU.

Rahab’s shame was on the inside but her freedom did not come from her hiding it BUT exposing it. The key to your freedom, sis, is shining the light on the shame you might be feeling. Tell a close friend, get it OFF of your chest. Be like, “Can we keep this between me and you? Girl, I am struggling with….” I want you to walk in complete freedom from your past. Shame thrives in darkness so releasing yourself from it may also include FORGIVING a few people. Trust me, I know forgiveness is easier said than done and they may not deserve it. But if you think about it, it is NOT for them but for you. Unforgiveness gives that person the power. Forgiveness can be hard but it is SO worth it. You will feel lighter, healthier, and HAPPIER.

If you do not know where to start, JUST PRAY. Just have a heart to heart with God regarding what has happened to you. Be angry, let it out. God can work with the REAL. And then, pray for that person who hurt you. When you continuously pray for the person, it is hard to STAY mad at them. TRUST me, IT WORKS! Everything does not happen overnight but if you stick with the process, you can be shame free. I want you to get to a place where you can say, “It is not shame on me, but shame off me.” I want you to be free so that you can live your BEST LIFE. It doesn’t matter who you are or what you have done, God uses imperfect people to accomplish his perfect will.