The Stuff About Purpose that No One Likes to Talk About

Have you heard of the saying, “Pain births purpose?” One of my guilty pleasures is watching Youtube. I follow this couple who shared their birth story. And while I was watching the video, something clicked. I realized that babies aren’t the only things birthed, we birth purpose. (Purpose simply means “the reason why we are here.” While I have not personally birthed any babies yet---I do know that before a baby comes, there is a laboring process.

I read something earlier this week and it perfectly describes what happens. “Your calling is going to crush you. If you are called to help heal the brokenhearted, you are going to wrestle with broken-heartedness. If you’re called to empower, your self-esteem will be attacked and your success will be hard fought...Your crushing won’t be easy because your assignment is NOT easy. (If you want to read up on it, I recommend reading “Crushing” by TD Jakes.).

In this post, I want to use the natural process of birth to explain the process of purpose. (I am by no means an expert on the topic of pregnancy but with the help of my nursing background and Google lol, I will talk briefly about the basics.) This example was the easiest way for me to understand how God works when it comes to us accomplishing our goals.

I don’t know if you realize it but there are SO many parallels between birthing a baby and birthing purpose. At the end of reading this, I hope things start to make sense for YOU. There is a reason you are going through what you are going through. I cannot tell you exactly why because only God knows but I hope that you begin to see things more clearly.

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When a woman is having a baby, she goes through different stages: pregnancy, labor, and delivery. There is a lot of preparation involved in making room for the baby’s arrival. Most women attend prenatal classes, doctor appointments, and even make a birthing plan to have some sense of control in creating the best birthing environment. Well, the same is true for us when we prepare for the answer to our prayers or as we wait for our purpose/dreams to unfold. We go through a cycle of waiting, healing, and growth.

Birthing Plan

I looked up the definition of a birthing plan. “A birth plan is an outline of your preferences during labor and delivery. For example, your birth plan may include who you want with you during labor, whether you want pain meds, or if you want the lights dimmed. You can include anything you think will make your labor and birth more comfortable for you.”

I read this and thought about how the same things happen when it comes to our dreams. We do the exact same thing! We write our goals down or we come up with a plan to get things done and make things happen. We may even give God a timeline---“I’ll complete my Bachelor’s degree by 21. Then, I’ll probably go to grad school and have my graduate degree by 25. I want to be married by 27. Oh, and my career will be flourishing by 30.” We have a plan in place. But what if God has other plans?

If you’re currently frustrated because things are not going according to your plan, hear me when I say this---It is NORMAL to feel frustrated or even hurt when things don’t happen how you saw it. It is okay to be disappointed. (Been here. The key is to be honest with God.) It's about what you do with that disappointment. God doesn’t ask us to ignore how we feel, he just tells us to not RELY on how we feel. On the one hand, my faith tells me that God is writing a story that only HE can write. But sometimes, I get so close to snatching that pen. BUT God. Knows. Better. Sis, it doesn’t feel like it but God KNOWS WHAT HE IS doing. He isn’t new at this God thing. It's so hard to not intervene but I recently spoke with someone who said it best, “Let God be God because he is good at being God. He doesn’t need our help to do his job.”

Pregnancy

It’s no secret that women carry a baby for 36 to 40 weeks. That's a 9 to 10 month long process. During this time, her body changes and her womb STRETCHES to make room for the baby. There is a lot of growth and transformation happening during this time.

When it comes to purpose, a better word for this step is PROCESS. Things don’t just happen right away. There is a waiting period. For most of us, this is our least favorite part because this is where God stretches us. He works with us to stretch our faith. This is the time when our faith is deepened and our character is developed. This is the point in the process where we feel like giving up. We ask God, “How much longer?” I can speak to this because I’m in the middle of this step. Here, we can sometimes find ourselves feeling defeated because it feels like life is beating us up. Hang in there!

Honestly, the hardest thing I've asked during this step is---why does suffering have to be part of the process? Even now, I cannot exactly tell you why but I do know you aren’t alone. We all have to go through some form of suffering, even Christ had to suffer. That’s why the symbol for Christianity is a cross and not a crown. But the good news is God promised he would be with us in it AND he promised that he will pull the “good” out of our “bad.” God didn’t say everything would FEEL good but he did say it would BE good in Romans 8:28. With God, you can get through this part of the process.

If this is you, DO NOT give up. The process is for a reason because God is preparing us. He is keeping us from receiving what we asked for too early. If this were to happen, we would ruin it. We need the experiences during this stretch of time in order to be successful in the next step of our process.

Labor

For mothers, this is the part where those long months of waiting for the baby start to pay off. He or she is almost here! But laboring ain’t easy. There are birthing pains that start off mild but end up intensifying as the baby is closer to coming out. The body is preparing to deliver the baby.

Maybe you are here, sis. You’re starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel but your dreams are not quite reality yet. This is the point in the process where you aren’t sure if your faith can take you any further. Life has been testing you like crazy. You may be getting hit with situation after situation. The pain in your life has intensified. But I want to tell you, this is the point where you press harder. It’s often at the moment that we want to give up where what we are waiting for is so close to coming. Just like there is a baby on the other side of natural labor, there is a blessing on the other side of your waiting, sis. Galatians 6:9 comes to mind—“And don’t allow yourselves to be weary or disheartened in planting good seeds, for the season of reaping the wonderful harvest you’ve planted is coming!” I’ve been hanging onto this verse like crazy, along with Philippians 1:6 and Ephesians 3:20.

That thing you have been praying for is coming!

Delivery

This is the part of the journey that everyone looks forward to, the birth of the baby. Pictures are taken. Family is celebrating. All of the hard work of pregnancy and labor FINALLY pays off!

Sis, all that waiting you have been doing wasn’t for nothing. Things don’t just happen for no reason. You WILL have something to show for all the blood, sweat, pain, and tears. Keep grinding. Keep going. And no, God didn’t forget about you or what he said to you. He definitely remembers those things you have prayed about, no matter how much time has passed.

The reason the road to purpose is so hard is because your process is a direct reflection of how big your purpose is. See sis, the harder your process is, the greater your purpose. And that’s on that. When we are stretched, it doesn’t feel good. BUT it is God working with us to make sure our ability matches the weight of what we are asking for. He doesn’t mismatch. God doesn't withhold his promises from us, he prepares us for them. He makes us grow to fit that blessing. If we aren’t ready, he won’t let us have it. God just wants to make sure we can handle it because the bigger the blessing, the higher the expectation, and the greater the responsibility.

If this blog spoke to you, I recommend reading the Book of Exodus. I am currently reading it and it has spoken to me like no other. Exodus is about how God kept his word after many, many years to a group of people He loved. I can’t tell you how long each stage will be for you but I KNOW your waiting has to end at some point. And the beautiful thing is when you invite God into your waiting, he will allow the process to be bearable, even if it seems unbearable right now. I know this to be true.

Keep your spirits up!