Where is God in all of this?

Hey Sis,

I’ve been thinking about what has been happening in 2020. Some would describe it as a “whole mess.’ Some would describe these first 3 months as a “whole decade.” As a society, 2020 has been ROUGH with ALL capital letters. Now, with coronavirus, things have gotten really real. (Praying for those affected by the virus including fellow health care professionals, store clerks, those diagnosed, families of those diagnosed,etc...). In a time like this, you will find me asking God the hard questions.

I find that in times like these, we may be struggling with our faith. We may even be tempted to try and “hop” into the mind of God to try and figure out why things are playing out like the way that they are. That is fair because as human beings, we want answers. We have questions and we would like to have answers. I am writing this blog post to anyone who may be frustrated because you don’t have all the answers. What happens when we have questions that only God can answer? How can we still have faith in the face of uncertainty? How can we make sense of all that is going on?

First, I just want to say that while we scratch our heads trying to figure out “why,” we have to be careful. In asking God the tough questions, I have to be careful to not try and step into the mind of God. Believe me sis, I have tried to get into the mind of God and failed. However, I HAVE been having real talks and real conversations with God.

With that being said, I recently had a discussion with my brother about faith in times of uncertainty. There is so much of life that is unknown. I think the first few months of 2020 have been so difficult because we didn’t see it coming. We didn’t see the tragedy of Kobe and the eight other beautiful lives coming or this current pandemic that is sweeping the world. This is a time where our faith is getting really real.

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So here’s a really real discussion between my brother and I about what’s happening in 2020, asking God the hard questions, and working through not knowing it all.*******(Note: This is not meant to be taken as expertise on this topic but a conversation on how both of us have been growing in our faith while working through our questions!)********

Me: I think Christians as a whole have this desire to have answers and if we don’t get them, we try to fill in the gaps. That can get dangerous.

Bro: It’s true. We have to realize that some answers are not just black and white, they are gray. And we have to realize that.

Me: I think the issue is that we feel the pressure to always have an answer ready. But what happens when we are asked questions that we can’t answer? This recently happened to me. I’m not sure how we got on the topic of faith but I was talking with someone who grew up in the church and her mother was a Christian.(I’ll give her a name, “A”.) “A” mentioned how her mother read the Bible from front to back and it just doesn’t make sense. She stated, “I have a hard time with the Bible because there are just pieces missing. Where are black people in the Bible? There are pieces of history missing.” Our discussion went on for about 20 minutes. She fired questions that I simply didn’t have the answer for. “A” went on to say that she believes that there had to be someone before God. Like it just doesn’t make sense.” I didn’t agree but I couldn’t quite articulate my thoughts. Honestly, when I left the discussion, I felt like a failure. I felt that I did not do enough to represent the faith. I felt guilty for not being able to answer her questions.

Bro: First, it is okay to not have all the answers. Second, we have to understand the fact that there are pieces of history that are not mentioned in the Bible. We know there were dinosaurs but they aren’t found in the Bible. We have to understand that the Bible was never written to be a history or science book that answers every question or includes every strand of ancient history; it’s a theological book that teaches us truths about who God is and what God’s relationship to humans has been and will be.

Me: So true. I think I mentioned that to “A.” I think the reason I felt so bad is because I felt I could have said more. I believe that we feel this pressure to “SELL GOD” like it’s a sales pitch. I think that this is also why we try to fill in the gaps of people’s gray questions. But I am realizing that while we are called to share the Good News, God is God so he doesn’t need us, as flawed people, to be experts and insert our answers. I think for me, we feel that if we don't have answers to people’s questions, we fail God or we are not doing a great job of “selling” Him.

Bro: I never thought about it like that but that is true, we feel the need to sell God. It is not about defending God. (Editor’s Note: It is about presenting God to others and letting him do the rest.). While the Bible is God’s written word and it has important truths that he wants us to know, we have to acknowledge the fact that there are some things it does not answer. I think we sometimes feel that if we do not know the answer to all of people’s questions then it somehow discredits God. But the fact that there are missing pieces of history does not make God any less true. God’s existence does not hinge on the Bible. God was God before the Bible existed and he will continue to be.

Me: Whew, that is so true! This is so on point. I just feel that especially with everything going on, now is the perfect time to grow deeper in our walk with God. It can be difficult to wrestle and work through our feelings with everything that is going on.

Bro: Yes, it can be difficult. I think the question that most people grapple with is, “How does a perfect God create such an imperfect world?”

Me: I have found that asking questions helps me to get closer to God. I just want to be careful that I don’t accuse God but at the same time, I am simply asking for understanding. I recognize that I may not get all of my questions answered but I believe it is okay to ask questions.

Bro: I just always go back to how God has worked in my life personally. That is why I believe personal testimony is so powerful because people who don’t fully understand God may read the Bible and think, “Oh, this was written thousands of years ago.” But when we tell them about what God has done for us now, it is easier to grasp. And when I have questions, I just level with God honestly. I say, “I KNOW WHO YOU ARE God, BUT I am wrestling with…”or “I may not know the answer now but in the end, I trust...”

Me: That’s good. I always say that if I didn’t have a relationship with God, I would either be crazy or no longer living, especially when I think about a time in my life where I wish I wasn’t here. That is NOTHING but God. But on the flip side, I have always said that the toughest part of having a relationship with God is the “not knowing.” We can ask questions forever and end up in this cycle of questions and that is a place where I do not want to get to. I think at some point, we have to ask, “IS OUR FAITH enough?” Like we do not know all the answers but that is the very essence of what faith is. That is the whole point.

Bro: That is so true. The question is really― “Is my faith enough?” And I guess for some people, it isn’t and that is what separates those who believe from those who don’t. I always say that if I did not grow up in church, and I looked around and saw what was happening with the government and how Christianity has been used to oppress people, I would not be Christian. I would think, “If this is what faith produces, then what is the value?” I think that is why so many people walk away from the faith because of how God is represented by people who claim to follow God.

Me: Yea, I think that is why we have to separate God from people. I think about the rapper, Lecrae and what he said when he talked about wrestling with his faith. He basically talked about how he had to find God for himself. He had to put the opinions of people aside. That is so important because there is this dynamic where we have God who is perfect and people who are flawed that represent him.

Bro: We have to separate God vs. people who follow God/claim to follow God. We have to JUST look for God. God alone. Start with that. We have to sift through and ask, “WHERE IS GOD IN ALL THIS?” I think the reason many people who have grown up in the faith can leave and then ultimately return is that something happens that allows them to see that God does not fit in a box. They learn to take God out and find God for themselves. And we as people can be so judgemental, legalistic, and power-hungry. We have to realize that each person’s relationship with God looks different. Your conviction on certain things may look different than mine. What God tells me to do and how to act could be completely different from the person next to me.

Me: That is good, “Where is God in all of this?” I agree because while there are black and white topics in the bible, there are gray ones. I believe personal conviction helps us to navigate those gray areas. I am also learning that I love to listen to sermons on Youtube and follow people that I spiritually admire. But now more than ever, I am learning that those are great things to do but it is important that those things do not outweigh my one-on-one time with God. I need to read the Bible for myself. I wrote in my journal that, “It is much more powerful to hear from God directly than to hear what God said to other people and now to me.” While still powerful, we essentially get the “crumbs” or leftovers of their one-on-one time.

Bro: Yes. I am realizing that INTERPRETATION of scripture differs from person to person. We can log onto youtube and see two different preachers preach off the same scripture and reach two different conclusions. We have to read scripture for ourselves and ask, “ WHAT IS THE TRUTH for my life?”

This post did not include our whole discussion but I wanted to just show you that you can still have faith while having questions that only God can answer. When I have difficult questions that God does not give me the answers to, I often just relate back to God’s character. I know God to be good and since that is his character from my perspective, I believe that God can’t act outside of that no matter how bad things get.

Sis, ultimately I can tell you how good God is but the root of it all is you have to get to know him for yourself. When I was younger, my parents took me to church and told me about God until they were “blue in the face” and I was tired of hearing it but it wasn’t until I experienced him for myself that I felt closer to him. With everything happening in 2020, this is the perfect time to go deeper. But it’s your choice! I just want to let you know that you don’t have to feel the pressure of having all the answers.

Make your walk with God as authentic as it can be for you.

Love,

Mars